When we have experienced trauma in our lives, that emotional pain allows the enemy to enter us (as unbelievers we can be possessed by demons, as Christians we cannot be possessed but we can be oppressed or tormented because of deception). When we have lived our lives in abuse, we grow up thinking that is a way of life that is normal. It becomes a mindset to us and along with the mindset is familiar spirits that come with the package. (by familiar spirits; what I mean is a spirit that attracts people to us that will do to us what is familiar to us), if we have lived in abuse, that spirit will attract abusers to us. If we were raped as a child, that spirit will attract men to us that will abuse us sexually. When we have been sexually abused whether as a child or in our older years (any time there is sex outside of marriage, it brings with it an unhealthy soul tie). Definition: Soul tie- a bond between two people that keeps drawing them back together. That’s why when two people have a sexual relationship before marriage, they wonder why they cannot seem to keep away from each other or they are drawn back together even though they don’t want to be together. It is because of that unhealthy soul-tie. There are soul – ties that are healthy, marriage being one of them and children with their parents until they are of age, but even in a parental relationship after we are grown the umbilical cord has to be cut, we have to become our own person and be on our own to have our own relationships and experience life for ourselves. Many parents cannot let go of their children and form an unhealthy soul-tie with them, which at some point has to be broken if we are ever to live a healthy life style.
The unhealthy soul-tie causes us to be bound to these people in an unhealthy way. When a father or stepfather has had sexual relations with the daughter it causes her to be codependent on him as if he were her husband because when he has sexually been with her it is the same as her being a wife. Which causes her to depend on him as a husband and she doesn’t even realize what is happening. The same kind of soul-tie happens when two people come together sexually without being married. When this happens men wonder why the woman seems to be insecure and demanding on him and it is because they have created a family type tie between the two of themselves not knowing it would cause the woman to fall into the roll of the wife and depending on the man as the husband roll when he doesn’t want the responsibility. But, those are the consequences that come with the sex without marriage. God created it to be a beautiful thing between two people (male and female AFTER marriage) and when it is done in His order there is harmony and unity and beauty in the relationship.