Emotional Health

We tend to think a lot about our physical health, our beauty (outward appearance), but not much on the emotional health side. For a woman the emotional health is just as important as the physical health. As a man thinks so is he or she. Even though men are not wired to think with their emotions, their emotions catch up with them, when they do not release those inward emotions that women release through tears, they end up with a heart attack many times because the heart has taken that stress that they are unwilling to let go of through tears.
Stress is an area of “no peace” in our mind or soul (mind, will, and emotions). No peace means dis-ease and what does that mean. DISEASE (that’s right a disease in our body). Heart problems, stomach problems, not digesting food properly brings big problems. So we must think about our emotional health as much as we think about the physical. Since the emotional causes a lot of the physical.
Can you remember when in school kids you to say sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. WOW, that is so far from the truth it is awful.
Truth is hurtful words, if not dealt with, will linger in your heart and the back of your mind for years and cause such things as ulcers and heart problems.
The main thing we need to deal with when we have been hurt emotionally or physically is forgiveness. I understand when we don’t even want to think about forgiving someone that has hurt us so badly. But, the truth of the matter is God’s word says if we don’t forgive we can’t be forgiven. Unforgiveness festers in our bodies as sickness (depending how long we hold on to the anger). Forgiveness and releasing that person to God and allowing God to deal with them, releases you from the anger, not saying those feelings won’t try to rare the ugly head and make you think it is your thoughts, but when you forgive and give it to God, it is the enemy that brings that thing back up in your mind. You must know how to fight your enemy he doesn’t fight fair!! I talk about all of this in my book teaching you how to recognize the enemy and how to defeat him.
Anger, resentment, and bitterness is the worst symptom of emotional distress. Please pray if you have a wound that you cannot get past or if you don’t pray or don’t know how you can email me and I will help you. [email protected]
As soon as you pray and forgive all that stuff that has been tormenting you has to leave. When we pray it’s under the blood. You may not be able to forgive someone with the emotions that you forgive them, it’s all by faith. Pray and ask our heavenly Father to help you forgive, get honest with God like I did over my mother that abused me, The Father asked me to forgive her and I said how can I when I hate her!! When we can admit our emotions (feelings) that’s when we can be healed.

Co-dependency/Enabler

All of us from wounded backgrounds, abuse and such do not know how to have healthy relationships. They are usually co-dependent/enabler!!! My guess most of us have those kind of relationships. We must pray and ask the Lord to help us to have a more balanced marriage or whatever relationship it is!
Marriage will not survive with this, and it’s because God won’t allow it! both those are idolatry!!! For which God will not put up with! It is putting that person on the throne’s of our hearts and God is supposed to be the only one with that place! God help us all that have had such relationships, help the mates to understand you will not allow it!!! IN Jesus name!
Don’t get me wrong his mercy is new every morning! We just need to repent and get right back where we were with him. And ask HIM for HIS strength to overcome this idolatry! We can do nothing without HIM and HIS help!
God wants us healed and healthy! I know he also wants us to give each other mercy and grace, however we must ask the Lord how to deal with the codependency in our own lives so that our marriages can be better but also so we don’t keep passing it down to the next generation.
Codependency is tough to deal with many times when it is both partners that are codependent. One is in one area and the other in another area. Some times we have to get away to see our own issues in the situation. When we are in the big middle of the situation we can’t see the forest for the trees. Can’t see our stuff for continuing to look at what’s wrong with the other one! It’s not easy to deal with our own stuff, but we must in order to have a healthy relationship!

Having Authority Means being under Authority

Just want to bring some truth in the midst of “Walking Away from Abuse”. Many men as well as women read a scripture and run with it. Like the scripture in Eph.5 about Women are to submit to their husbands and the man will take that to the bank not reading the scriptures above or below. The ones above say we are to submit to EACH OTHER!!!!!! It also says a man is to love his wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her. Also loving her as his own body.
Another aspect of this also is if we are not under authority; we have no authority!! When we do not give ourself to authority we are out of order making the marriage out of order as well!!!
Especially when we are not submitting to the word of God. Faith without works is dead. We are to be a doer of the word not a hearer only!!!!!!!
Lord give us what we need to be doer’s of Your word not hearers only, in Jesus name!!!

The Effects of Soul-ties

When we have experienced trauma in our lives, that emotional pain allows the enemy to enter us (as unbelievers we can be possessed by demons, as Christians we cannot be possessed but we can be oppressed or tormented because of deception).  When we have lived our lives in abuse, we grow up thinking that is a way of life that is normal.  It becomes a mindset to us and along with the mindset is familiar spirits that come with the package. (by familiar spirits; what I mean is a spirit that attracts people to us that will do to us what is familiar to us), if we have lived in abuse, that spirit will attract abusers to us.  If we were raped as a child, that spirit will attract men to us that will abuse us sexually.  When we have been sexually abused whether as a child or in our older years (any time there is sex outside of marriage, it brings with it an unhealthy soul tie). Definition: Soul tie- a bond between two people that keeps drawing them back together. That’s why when two people have a sexual relationship before marriage, they wonder why they cannot seem to keep away from each other or they are drawn back together even though they don’t want to be together.  It is because of that unhealthy soul-tie.  There are soul – ties that are healthy, marriage being one of them and children with their parents until they are of age, but even in a parental relationship after we are grown the umbilical cord has to be cut, we have to become our own person and be on our own to have our own relationships and experience life for ourselves.  Many parents cannot let go of their children and form an unhealthy soul-tie with them, which at some point has to be broken if we are ever to live a healthy life style.

The unhealthy soul-tie causes us to be bound to these people in an unhealthy way.  When a father or stepfather has had sexual relations with the daughter it causes her to be codependent on him as if he were her husband because when he has sexually been with her it is the same as her being a wife. Which causes her to depend on him as a husband and she doesn’t even realize what is happening.  The same kind of soul-tie happens when two people come together sexually without being married.  When this happens men wonder why the woman seems to be insecure and demanding on him and it is because they have created a family type tie between the two of themselves not knowing it would cause the woman to fall into the roll of the wife and depending on the man as the husband roll when he doesn’t want the responsibility.  But, those are the consequences that come with the sex without marriage.  God created it to be a beautiful thing between two people (male and female AFTER marriage) and when it is done in His order there is harmony and unity and beauty in the relationship.

Communication Between Husbands and Wives

God’s heart is so for relationships!! That’s the purpose He created us for in the first place! God is concerned about every detail of our lives and is willing to help us with every detail. His word says: He gives us all things that pertain to life and Godliness II Peter 1:3-4. We can do nothing without HIM!
His word also says we are new creations in Christ Jesus.
What we don’t understand sometimes with our relationships is we are to walk in that new creation and not in the old man or woman that died to all the flesh.
As husbands and wives we must realize men and women think differently, and the old man syndrome can crop back up and try to take over if we do not keep him/her under the control of the Holy Spirit!
I am going to share this morning and be transparent so others can glean from my weakness.
Sometimes when Wayne and I have a disagreement I tend to see him in the old mans eyes. (through carnal eyes) and in order to bring peace into any situation that may be of disagreement we must see each other through the eyes of the spirit!
Men and women think so differently. Men are left brained and most of them analytical (meaning they have to process information that comes to them, whether through conversation or books or internet) and women are mainly right brained (process out of our emotions).
My type of personality is totally opposite of Wayne, being raised and married and living in abuse all my life I was not only motivated by fear, fear drove everything I did. I knew that when my mother or my ex-husband told me to do something I didn’t have time to think about it, I had to act and act now to keep the abuse at bay.
Consequently, I became a fix-it personality and extremely fast minded. For which in one way God can use it and has used it for His advantage, but the bad part for relationships is I think very fast and think Wayne ought to do that too, but he is very laid back personality in no hurry what I have learned by the spirit is God is using us to balance each other.
When we have conflicts with our mate we need to realize they do not think the same way we do and they process things differently than we do.
I was very serious minded and could not see things from Wayne’s perspective because of what I came out of.
The very best thing we can do when we are in a disagreement is pray and ask the Lord to help us see the others point of view and ask the Lord to get us into unity. It works every time!!

Co-Dominion

Do you know that in the beginning, when God created the earth and man. When he said to man “it’s not good that man should be alone” I will make him a helpmate for him”. When He created the woman out of the rib of man. He also said, therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh.

Before He actually created man; He said to the Son and Holy Spirit; let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let THEM have dominion over the firsh of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth and over every creaping thing that creaps upon the earth.

Before God ever brought Eve into existence , He gave THEM dominion over the works of His hands. What God intended not only in the beginning, but also now. Is for man and woman to be in such harmony and unity (one flesh) that they actually have the same power and authority. But, when Eve listened to the serpent and took of the apple from THE TREE OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL. That changed everything. It put us under the authority of our husband! No longer did we share that same power and authority.

But, in saying all of that I want to explain to you what God did! Because Eve was actually deceived, Adam was not deceived.  God told Adam before He brought Eve into the equation. Gen.2:16-17 And the Lord God, commanded the man, saying, of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat; but  of the tree of Knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it; for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. (the death God was referring to was spiritual death). Not being able to commune with God.

So Adam was not deceived, he had been told by the Lord not to eat of the tree and told what the consequences would be if he did. So because he already knew and chose to do it anyway. God has held him accountable to Himself. As we women walk in submission to our men God can cause good to come out of some of the worst situations. As long as we submit (not that we submit to something that is ungodly) but every day things.  God can and will cause good to come to His precious daughters.  As long as we walk in submission the best we know how (that doesn’t mean being a door mat). God will hold His man accountable on how he obeys God and how he treats you his daughter.

But, those of us that have been born again by the blood of Jesus claim freedom of that deception. We have the Holy Spirit and are no longer deceived, the veil on our eyes has been removed.   But, we don’t take that freedom too far in thinking we are never decieved. We must all submit one to another as the word says in Ephesians 5. (IICorth. 3:16-19 – Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of  the Lord is there is liberty. But we all with unveiled face, beholding as in the mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord) But we must keep our eyes on the Lord or we can be deceived.

God’s perfect way is for marriages to truly represent Jesus and His church (bride). Walking in love and unity with each other and Him our Lord. In that place we again have been given back the co-dominion. We are able to walk in the power and authority God first gave to His c reation (man and woman).

 

New Book: To Women With Love

Featured

Have you been abused?

Are you still in that situation today?

You were created for so much more than this!

In this heart-to-heart conversation, Charlotte Posa draws from her traumatic life experiences to help women from all walks of life understand that there is hope of becoming free and embracing their destiny!

  • This book is based on biblical truths that women are “fearfully and wonderfully made” by God and have a purpose in life.
  • Charlotte discusses how to develop healthy relationships by respecting yourself and others by establishing protective boundaries.
  • She’ll help you understand the emotions and thought patterns that recur while you’re involved in an abusive situation–and even after you’ve come out of it. Charlotte wants you to know that you’re normal, not a misfit.
  • For married women who want to know how not to repeat the cycle of abuse, Charlotte talks about respecting your husband and discovering his most intimate needs, along with proven ways to meet them. Learn to communicate with your man.

Charlotte Posa has experienced thirty-five years of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and enslavement, from her childhood continuing through her first marriage. She walked away, afraid of life and not knowing what she would do without a high school education or a GED. But, with the help of the Lord Jesus Christ, she has become more than a conqueror and has a powerful testimony of how the Lord empowered her to accomplish more than she ever dreamed possible. She wants you to know that He can do the same for you!

Charlotte has been happily married to Wayne Posa for the last 16 years. Together they serve the Lord in a local prison ministry. Prior to this, they were involved in street ministry. They are both ordained ministers.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

The Love Letter

A Woman of God

Chapter One – My Testimony: From the Frying Pan into the Fire

You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive
Genesis 50:20

What the Enemy means for harm, God will turn around for our good.

Chapter Two – What’s in the Name? The Name of Jesus

That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father
Philippians 2:10-11

Because of Jesus’ authority over all things, we have been delegated His authority over evil spirits.

Chapter Three – The Vicious Cycle: The Cycle Stops Here

My people perish from a lack of knowledge
Hosea 4:6 KJV

God commands us to cast down vain imaginations that exalt themselves Against Him (see 2 Corinthians 10:5).

Chapter Four – Soul Ties (Bondage to Familiar Spirits)

Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey?
Romans 6:16

Whomever we obey, we are the slave to.

Chapter Five – Staying Free

He whom the Son sets free is free indeed
John 8:36

Jesus wants us to stay free from that sin which has bound us in our past.

Chapter Six – Seeing Ourselves the Way God Sees Us

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made
Psalm 139:14

God builds up our self-esteem.

Chapter Seven – Boundaries

I speak to you in human terms because of the weakness in your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness
Romans 6:19

Learn to respect yourself so you can respect others, and they will respect you!

Chapter Eight – In the Beginning

Let Us make man in Our image
Genesis 1:26

From the beginning of the world, God has wanted men and women to walk together in unity and harmony.

Chapter Nine – Women Need to Take Their Place

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness; let them have dominion…”
Genesis 1:26

By his side, not under his feet or over his head (co-dominion).

Chapter Ten – Understanding Your Man: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man
1 Corinthians 11:9

Fulfilling your husband’s biggest need.

Chapter Eleven – Offense Prayer

We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers, and rulers of the darkness of this age and the age to come
Ephesians 6:12

Learning how to fight for your husband when the Lord says, “Love never fails.”

Chapter Twelve – Learning to Communicate in a Loving Relationship

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearer
Ephesians 4:29 KJV

Men and women think from the opposite sides of the brain.

Chapter Thirteen – “Pretty Is As Pretty Does”

Do not let your beauty be that outward adorning of arranging the hair, of wearing gold, or of putting on fine apparel; but let it be the hidden person of the heart
1 Peter 3:3

Beauty starts on the inside; beauty tips for the outside.

Chapter Fourteen – From Ashes to Beauty

Instead of your shame, you shall have double honor
Isaiah 61:7

God wants to use our ashes for His glory!

Meet the Author

Order Information

 

Boundaries Part 3

Other areas of boundaries to consider are the places you allow the guy you are dating to take you.
1. You want to stay away from X-rated movies. Whether it be at home or at the theater. Most X-rated movies have not only bad language, but also sexual scenes that will only stir him up and may end up stirring you as well.
2. Until you know you can trust the guy, you need to stay in public places where you know you are safe. Maybe even try double dating until you know him better. If he is truly a guy you can trust he will not mind doing that since it keeps him in a safe place too.
3. Today’s world is so unpredictable, people pretend to be one way and they are so many times the opposite! I would not want to be dating in these times. You can’t be too cautious. Another way to keep your self safe is going to home meetings or meeting him at a get together with other friends.
4. People you trust need to meet him right off the bat. We all need second opinions we cannot trust our own hearts, especially if we have been alone for a while. Our own hearts can deceive us. Getting other’s opinion is very wise. They can see what we can’t. We have blind spots that we can’t see especially in the area of male/female relationships.